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English translation of raunchy Polish rap played by Taiwanese dancing cactus revealed

Dancing cactus teaches Taiwanese toddlers about pitfalls of cocaine addiction in Polish

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(Screenshot of product page)

(Screenshot of product page)

TAIPEI (Taiwan News) — A dancing cactus marketed in Taiwan as "toddler-friendly" is definitely not age-appropriate based on the English translation of the Polish rap song it jams to, which features vulgar language and references to illegal narcotics.

Over the weekend, a Polish citizen living in Taipei informed Taiwan News that a dancing cactus sold as a toddler's toy in Carrefour and on multiple online shopping platforms spews out explicit rap lyrics in Polish. The song that the cactus glibly gyrates to is "Where is the White Eel?" which was released by the Polish rapper Cypis in 2015.

A Polish mother living in Taichung discovered the cactus at a Carrefour, and she alleged that the lyrics repeatedly mention cocaine and attempted suicide. However, JK Gorka, a Taipei resident originally from Poland, said the word "suicide" is never mentioned in the song, nor are any references made to it.

Nevertheless, Gorka agrees that the song is "ultra-heavy," as Cypis raps about being down and out because "he has sold everything from his house, he has debts with all his friends, and the dealer won't give him any more hits." He said that the term "white eel" refers to a line of either cocaine or speed.

Such is the foul-mouthed nature of the song that the "F word" is mentioned 13 times. Drugs feature even more prominently, with the word "coke" mentioned six times and heroin three times, while indirect references to illicit drugs are injected throughout.

The following Polish to English translation of "Where is the white eel?" was provided to Taiwan News by JK Gorka:

The only thing on my mind
Is five grams of coke, to fly away alone
To the land of oblivion
I have thoughts in my head
When will this state of mind end
When I’m no longer alone
Because a white eel will enter

The only thing on my mind
Is five grams of coke, to fly away alone
To the land of oblivion
I have thoughts in my head
When will this state of mind end
When I’m no longer alone
Because a white eel will enter

Oh f*** me! What a comedown!!
I can’t reach the stars
I’m lying there like a log
I can’t believe it
What’s going on
Clucking like a starving hen
Howling to the moon like a werewolf
My head’s empty like a street
I’m in front of your house
Melting like a chocolate bar
That’s lying on the counter
You get a comedown when you don’t snort
Bro, my face is getting f***ed up
My mind’s a mess, just like the TV
I’m not surprised by this state
I’m out of stuff, I’m getting high in my mind
Maybe I’ll make it, maybe I won’t
I’ll just f***ing sell everything in my house
Well, I’m f***ed anyway
However, I already sold everything
F***, I’m struggling with the debts
Got a nose like a dragon
Second day without snorting
Where is the snake? White chemistry (biała chemia)
This comedown is f***ing awful
It’s like a locust bit my d***

The only thing on my mind
Is five grams of coke, to fly away alone
To the land of oblivion
I have thoughts in my head
When will this state of mind end
When I’m no longer alone
Because a white eel will enter

Chemical party, I wanna go skiing
To the dealer, not in Alps
Oh f***, I think I’ll die
If I don't snort something in my nose
I want to touch the stars so badly
But none of that since I’m on a comedown
Total f***ing mega comedown
And I’m dreaming of “Enter the Dragon”
You got the money? I owe you one too?
Well, then f*** it, I’m not running today
I want to get a kick like a panther
I won’t get anymore on the tick from the dealer
Not anymore, that’s for sure
I think death is breaking me down
I can’t swallow anything, I’ve got chills
F***, how much longer
Will this state last?
I dreamt of a van with coke
And a gram of heroin, just for tasting
I want to drive a Cadillac
In my thoughts, I run over my friends
But in reality, I owe something everyone
Loan is not an option
Because I cut like scissors

The only thing on my mind
Is five grams of coke, to fly away alone
To the land of oblivion
I have thoughts in my head
When will this state of mind end
When I’m no longer alone
Because a white eel will enter

A mess like on Discovery
I want to shoot myself out from a gun
I want heroin and other goodies
Nose so empty you can hear murmurs
Do you have Gargamel’s number?
Maybe he’s got heroin in his boiler?
I know I’m talking bulls***
But I’ve got nothing on the table
And my pockets are f***ing empty
Winning the lottery would be useful
Or at least a four out of six
And I’d be flying like a swallow
Like Maya the Bee
And Kayah would be singing to my ear
This has to be a joke, I don’t believe it
I’m lying there like a dead animal
My f***ing fever's getting worse
All ragged like a fakir’s ass
Like a dirty slut
I’m f***ing burning up
Hey Johnny I’d like to sprinkle
And bounce around the meadow like a rabbit
But all this time coming down
I wither like a torn out weed

The only thing on my mind
Is five grams of coke, to fly away alone
To the land of oblivion
I have thoughts in my head
When will this state of mind end
When I’m no longer alone
Because a white eel will enter

The following video includes English subtitles: